its just getting bad...

I think I am starting to get depressed... and it all steams back to work...
I hate that I have let things get to me this bad...
I wish that I could just let it roll off my shoulders...
but I can't...
and its getting bad...

Today I got chewed out because someone in the district didn't do their job... so that's my fault how????
Oh, becuase I didn't call them everyday for the last year to get a copy of it...
Seriously...

I didn't even know that this was an issue...
I have probably like 20 contracts a week pass over my desk...
and once our end is finished they go in temperary files where they sit until we get work orders...
My lead worker and I go through this when we don't have anything to do to try and find the old ones that should have work orders... but I by no means have time to do this everyday... not even every week... between the two of us, it tends to get done once a month... sometimes every two months... and that's with two people waiting for spare time to do it.

Its not like I sit around with my thumbs up my ass... I stay busy...I work basically from the time I get there until I leave...
Now the people I work with...

one goes to coffee and around 7ish... and gets back around 7:45ish... then goes for breakfast around 9ish and is gone until about 10... then at 11 they either leave for lunch or start warming their lunch (or fixing it) ... and they don't get back to their desk until like 1:30 then at 2:30 its coffee time agan.. .and that lasts until like 3
and on some days this person sleeps... or sits at their desk, and ignores everyone and I get stuck doing their work... which sometimes puts me a little behind...

And my boss... he is almost never at his desk... he's usually down the hall talking person... nothing work related comes out of his mouth ...excepts for what he is fussing at me about what i don't do... except that I am doing the things he is saying I don't.. .and when I tell him that I don't have time to do the things he is request (such as checking DAILY for this issue that came up today) he tells me that I am lieing...

He told me he doesn't care who I talk to once all my work is done. Ok, so now what??? I am by law entitled to TWO 15 minute breaks a day... and a 30 minute lunch... I NEVER take my whole 15min breaks... NEVER so who cares if I talk casually with a coworker as I pass them in the hall? Who the hell has the right to say that I can't talk to people?!?!?!?

I am so beyond pissed...
Then of ocurse mymotherinlaw found out that what was going on, and she works with my former boss(big boss.. the section head) now. So she went to him to find out about my boss. He says that he is still technically over my section and doesnt want me to transfer out... He had told me in the past that he wouldn't approve a transfer b/c I was too important to the section.
But he said maybe he would move me to a different group in the section. I need to go talk to him... This is all getting to be too much for me... I can't live like this...

I've gained some weight... and been snacking a lot... and this week I haven't had much of an apetite.. I reall dread going to work in the morning... I just don't want to deal with his shit...

Sorry this is so long... I just needed to vent a little...